It’s true that I don’t really care that much about the NFL, but I am a big fan of NFL nicknames. When it comes to nicknames, the NFL does it right.
America’s Team. The Steel Curtain. The Greatest Show on Turf.
Those are all great nicknames, not only because they immediately conjure up images of great teams and great players, but because they weren’t forced on us. They were allowed to happen organically.
Some people don’t understand how nicknames work. You can’t give yourself one and if you ask someone to give you one you’re doing it wrong.
Last year, after Roy Oswalt was traded to the Phillies, we were forced to hear H2O* all the time. Now that Cliff Lee has joined the fray, it would be ridiculous to move on without giving their rotation a new nickname that will strike fear into the hearts of their enemies (or something).
This Stan Hochman character starts with a name that is right out. Fab Four (or some derivative of it that includes Phs instead of Fs) is too lame, he decides.
Then he drops this bomb: The Un-four-gettables. I know, right? It’s so good and not lame at all!
Well, somehow those idiots in the comments just don’t get it. They decide amongst themselves that instead of Un-four-gettables, they’re going to call them R2C2**, which I guess is sort of a Star Wars reference.
So, basically, what you have here are two stupid nicknames that make no sense. On top of that, no one is really clamoring for a nickname in the first place. Not everything has to be a thing. Everyone is trying too hard.
Do you think that anyone was saying Miracle Mets in the Spring of 1969? Obviously they weren’t because those Mets hadn’t performed any miracles to speak of. Not yet.
The same goes for the 2011 Phillies. They haven’t done anything except sort out who is going to wear which number. Let’s all just take a deep breath and pump the brakes before I have a brain aneurysm!
One last gripe about nicknames…
The other day LeBron James dubbed this iteration of the Miami Heat the ‘Heatles’, which would be brilliant if it weren’t so incredibly stupid and made no sense. Strike 2, LeBron.
*Get it? ‘Cause there’s Halladay & Hamels (H2) & Oswalt (O) and H2O is a thing.
**Roy & Roy (R2) + Cliff & Cole (C2). Similar to H2O and twice as awesome!