The Name Game

It’s true that I don’t really care that much about the NFL, but I am a big fan of NFL nicknames. When it comes to nicknames, the NFL does it right.
America’s Team. The Steel Curtain. The Greatest Show on Turf.
Those are all great nicknames, not only because they immediately conjure up images of great teams and great players, but because they weren’t forced on us. They were allowed to happen organically.
Some people don’t understand how nicknames work. You can’t give yourself one and if you ask someone to give you one you’re doing it wrong.
Last year, after Roy Oswalt was traded to the Phillies, we were forced to hear H2O* all the time. Now that Cliff Lee has joined the fray, it would be ridiculous to move on without giving their rotation a new nickname that will strike fear into the hearts of their enemies (or something).
This Stan Hochman character starts with a name that is right out. Fab Four (or some derivative of it that includes Phs instead of Fs) is too lame, he decides.
Then he drops this bomb: The Un-four-gettables. I know, right? It’s so good and not lame at all!
Well, somehow those idiots in the comments just don’t get it. They decide amongst themselves that instead of Un-four-gettables, they’re going to call them R2C2**, which I guess is sort of a Star Wars reference.
So, basically, what you have here are two stupid nicknames that make no sense. On top of that, no one is really clamoring for a nickname in the first place. Not everything has to be a thing. Everyone is trying too hard.
Do you think that anyone was saying Miracle Mets in the Spring of 1969? Obviously they weren’t because those Mets hadn’t performed any miracles to speak of. Not yet.
The same goes for the 2011 Phillies. They haven’t done anything except sort out who is going to wear which number. Let’s all just take a deep breath and pump the brakes before I have a brain aneurysm!
One last gripe about nicknames…
The other day LeBron James dubbed this iteration of the Miami Heat the ‘Heatles’, which would be brilliant if it weren’t so incredibly stupid and made no sense. Strike 2, LeBron.
*Get it? ‘Cause there’s Halladay & Hamels (H2) & Oswalt (O) and H2O is a thing.
**Roy & Roy (R2) + Cliff & Cole (C2). Similar to H2O and twice as awesome!

About Mike Luna

My name is Mike. I am an avid fan of the Texas Rangers. I like reading and jogging, but I don't do either nearly as often as I should. I like writing about more than just baseball. Your opinion is your own, but please be respectful. Everyone is welcome in The Bleacher Seats.
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2 Responses to The Name Game

  1. I like the Heatles. It’s just stupid enough to work!

    • Mike Luna says:

      So, let’s say that the Heat are like the Beatles. Chris Bosh is clearly Ringo, the guy people like because he’s trying his best amongst people a lot more talented than he is. LeBron is John, because he’s the most talented by himself but for some reason it’s never really worked without the others (and also because that rhymes). Wade is Paul, because he may not be as talented but has still found his own success.

      So that all works if there were only 3 guys in the Beatles. Problem is, there were 4! Who’s George, LeBron? Who’s George?!

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